Zondits Exclusive: An Interview With the Owner of the ‘Take a Nap’ Store

Brian McCowan, Zondits staff, 4/1/2023

Zondits was recently in Florida covering a national clean energy conference when we learned that the retailer Take a Nap (TAN) was stockpiling gas cook stoves in anticipation of federal government restrictions. For reasons that will become clear, TAN operates much like a speakeasy, but Zondits had a line on the store’s location. Post conference, we travelled there to speak with the owner.

Zondits: Now Sleepy can’t be your real name?

Sleepy: No, it’s not, and I prefer not to reveal my identity.

Zondits: How long has the store been open?

Sleepy: About three years. I started small with just lightbulbs, but we have expanded rapidly.

Zondits: I can see that. (We begin to stroll through the aisles.) What motivated you to open the store?

Sleepy: Obviously it’s the rampant regulations that are increasingly impeding our freedoms. Lightbulbs were just the tip of the iceberg. It does not take a genius to realize that 9 watts is a lot less light than 60 watts. Maybe that’s why you people can’t “see” what’s happening all around you.

Zondits: Light is not measured in watts; it’s measured in lumens.

Sleepy: Lumens? Aren’t those the little animals that follow each other off cliffs? Fitting.

Zondits: I’m surprised to see compact fluorescent lamps here next to the incandescent lamps.

Sleepy: That wasn’t intentional. Cases and cases arrived from California. I don’t even know who sent them and we were never invoiced. Nobody wants them though – they go straight for the incandescents.

Zondits: How about all these toilets?

Sleepy: Oh these are all 5 gallon flush models – it’s either here or Craig’s List, and who wants to sit on a used toilet?

(As we wander through the aisles packed with lawn darts, lead paint, switchblades, canned shark-fin soup, vintage aerosol hair spray, and candy cigarettes, I sense our interview is nearing the end.)

Zondits: Some of these items are dangerous. Isn’t it a good thing that some of them are off-limits?

Sleepy: That’s incrementalist wokeism. We are absolutists here at TAN. Regulations are bad. Thus, by definition, these products are good.

Zondits: I’m not following that.

Sleepy: And therein lies the problem.

For a full list of items available at Take a Nap, click here.